• ask-jay-2-3 

  • “It’s about communicating with our kids,

    talking to them and listening to

    their answers.”




    Now on Sale!

        Respect YOUR Children

         A Practical Guide To Effective Parenting


Featured Shows

blogtalkradio-logo Listen to Jay at BlogTalkRadio live. Access past radio episodes and follow for future episodes! Explore Jay's shows which discuss various issues within the family relationship and assist people to become a generation of change, and not repeat the negative patterns from their past.

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Who is the Family Answer Man?

Jay Fitter is a licensed family therapist with 20 years experience and answers your questions on all relationships issues.

Why He Does it…

My father had a 3rd grade education, and my mother 5th grade. My childhood was spent in poverty, moving in and out of apartments and motels. Much of our food came from church donations and we had used clothing.

My father was verbally and physically abusive and died when I was sixteen. I had already been working to help support the family, but after he passed , I had to work full time. My parents were told by school administrators when I was in elementary school that I was going to be a drop out. I attended in excess of twenty schools, often not even remembering what state I was in. There was virtually no adult guidance through my childhood and teen tears, as a result I made a lot of poor choices.

When I became an adult, I decided that I didn’t want to pass this kind of life on to my children.

I have seen the positive changes that have occurred in parents, kids, and even hard core gang members in juvenile hall. I know that we can’t change the past, but we don’t have to repeat it either.

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Ask Jay

Ask Jay

Ask Family Therapist, Jay Fitter through Facebook. Present your questions during a LIVE show and your answers may be aired.


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By now, just about everyone is heard about the horrible event that took place in Florida this past week. Several teenagers laughed at, and mocked a man who was drowning. They videotaped the entire tragedy, and yet not one attempted to provide aid to save a man's life, or even call 911 before or after he died. People are looking for answers as to how someone could become so callous at such a young age. It's easy to blame the media, violent movies and video games, or dozens of other things that kids are exposed to on a regular basis. In my opinion, having worked with teenagers for more than 25 years, in homes, residential facilities, and even juvenile hall, I don't think you have to look much further than the parents. As parents, we are the most significant role model that our children will have growing up. It's not a coincidence when you see kids involved in gang affiliation who have parents or other relatives that went down the same path. I often hear about absentee parents who didn't have the time or effort to teach their children values such as empathy or caring for other human beings. They weren't available, so their children sought other role models to answer to life's questions. Sure, most would agree that there is too much violence in movies, social media, and video games. So who is the one responsible for creating the environment to help children make wise decisions. Back to the parents. Virtually every young child seeks their parents attention, and look to them for guidance as to what is right and what is wrong. Many parents take advantage of this opportunity to instill values that will last a lifetime. Others lack the values themselves, or simply don't have the time to teach their children. I've seen so many parents come to my office with out of control teenagers seeking my help. They allowed years to pass without properly intervening in their children's lives, and then suddenly decide they want to have a healthy family that spends time together. By then, their children don't want much to do with them and are perfectly content the way things are and have always been. It takes a lot of time and and effort to bring about this change, and it's often unsuccessful.
I wonder if any of these teens from this recent event have ever witnessed their parents exhibit a random act of kindness toward a stranger.
If you are the parent of a young child, or even contemplating having children one day, remember, you are their biggest role model. Whether you are an uncaring person and only look out for yourself, or you don't have the time because of work or other responsibilities, your impact will be felt. If you don't provide these values to help your child become a caring productive member of society, someone else will, and my guess is that you probably won't like the results.

7 months ago  ·  



“It’s about communicating with our kids, talking to them and listening to their answers”


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Get in Touch

Contact Mr. Jay Fitter on Facebook, Twitter, or through email.  To schedule an appointment, please contact Jay’s office phone number – (951) 272-8304

Jay’s office is located in Southern California.

jay [at] familyanswerman.com

(951) 272-8304